That’s how I feel, at least. I was so excited to come home for a bit because all of these people that I wanted to hang out with were saying, “Oh my gosh! You’re coming home! We have to hang out!”
Obviously I’m not going to kold them. If someone wants to hang out with me then I we either are friends, or I must have been/must be relatively personable to them, if not outright friendly. I’m not sure if this is true in reality, but the way I perceive things, it’s easy to see when I like or dislike someone just by my body language and choice of words (if any). I can probably fake the funk with the best of them, but if I don’t care, then I don’t care.
So these people who got all my happy hopes up and made all these pseudo-plans with me have, so far, completely flaked. It’s one thing to be like, “Hey, I’m kind of busy, but I’ll try to make time for an old friend.” It’s another to say, “Hey, I’m off this week, let’s go do something,” and then follow through with no calls, no answers, no replies. To that and those people, here’s a hearty fuck you. I don’t care if you are or were my friend, but it’s pretty uncool to run that play. If you don’t want to hang out with me, don’t run the omgurhomeican’twaittohangoutwithyou!!11 play, just tell me you’re busy with school or work or some other lie that I’ll let slide or don’t say anything about hanging. I’m bored to death here and I don’t enjoy being a yo-yo.
Thankfully, the gang (you know who you are) has been meeting weekly for bowling nights (tonight!), and it’s been a blast to hang out with my old roommates and friends again. While I may be cold and/or shy to people I don’t know or don’t care for, it’s pretty hard for me to not love someone who is on the “inside,” and I enjoy every second of their company. And thank you, Gail, for being basically the nuts as a friend.
I think what cuts me the deepest is the fact that one or two of the people who I was so looking forward to seeing know me well (and vice-versa if this sentence was structured correctly), has/have so far joined the crowd I’m currently bitching about. I’d appreciate a call, you know, ever (and you know who you are, if you’re reading this, I’m sure (not that anyone does)).
Not much I can do about the situation(s), though. I’m not about to force people to hang out with me. I may be a loser, but I’m not going to beg, despite what this entry may sound like. I’m just calling you all out.
Anyways, it’s time for me to go roll some ninepins. Later.
